New Chainsaw

"Thermos"

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious
about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?"

The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."

The blond then asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold." So she buys one.

The next day, she brings it to work with her.
Her boss, also a blond, asks, "What is
that shiny object?"

She replies "It's a thermos."

He asks, "What does it do?"

She says, "It keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold."

He then asks, "What do you have in there?"

"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

******************************************

"New Chainsaw"

A fellow (blond?) is looking to buy a saw to cut
down some trees in his back yard. He goes to
a chainsaw shop and asks about various
chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I
have a lot of models, but why don't you save
yourself a lot of time and aggravation and
get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw
will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in
one day."

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and
begins working on the trees. After cutting
for several hours and only cutting two cords,
he decides to quit. He thinks there is
something wrong with the chainsaw. "How
can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?"
the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing
in the morning and cut all day," the man tells
himself. So, the next morning the man gets
up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts,
and cuts till nightfall, and still he only
manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The
dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords
of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this
saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back
to the dealer and explains the problem. The
dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes
the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says,
"Hmm, it looks fine."

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which
the man responds, "What's that noise?"
Received on Wed Jul 12 04:08:25 2006