Whose Dog Is Smarter?

"Whose Dog Is Smarter?"

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs
were. The first man was an Engineer, the second an
Accountant, the third man a Chemist, and the fourth
a Government worker.

To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, "T-Square,
do your stuff!" T-Square trotted over to the desk, took
out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle,
a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that
T-Square was pretty smart!

Then the Accountant said his dog could do better. He
called his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, show them how
smart you are!" Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen,
and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them
into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed,
that was good!

Yet the Chemist said his dog could do even better. He
called his dog and said, "Measure, do your thing!"
Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a
quart of milk, got a 10-ounce glass from the cupboard
and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone oohed and ahhhed and was quite impressed!

Then the three men turned to the Government Worker,
and said, "What can your dog do?" The Government
Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do
your stuff!!" Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate all the
cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, sexually
assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his
back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe
working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation,
and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!!!!

***********************************************

"Equal Opportunity Employer"
{A LadyHawke's Favorite}

A local business was looking for office help. They put
a sign in the window, stating the following: "Help
Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a
computer and MUST be bilingual. We are an Equal
Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window,
saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the
receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to
the sign, looked at it and whined a bit. Getting the
idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The
office manager looked at the dog and was surprised,
to say the least. However, the dog looked determined,
so he led him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the
manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The
sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped
down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a
perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to
the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back up
on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then he
told the dog, "The sign also says you have to be good
with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer.
The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect
program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this
time, the manager was totally dumb-founded! He
looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very
intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities.
However, I *still* can't give you the job." The dog
jumped down and went over to a copy of the sign and
put his paw on the sentences that told about being an
Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes,
but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at that manager very calmly and said,

"Meow."
Received on Mon Jan 16 08:55:33 2006