You Know You're From New York When..

"You Know You're From New York When..."

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's
license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning
just because there are seats available.

You take the train home and you know exactly
where on the platform the doors will open that
will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.

You know what a "regular" coffee is.

It's not Manhattan...... It's the "city".

There is no north and south. It's "uptown" or
"downtown." If you're really from New York you
have absolutely no concept of where north and
south are.... And east or west is "crosstown."

You cross the street anywhere but on the corners
and you yell at cars for not respecting your right
to do it.

You move 3,000 miles away, spend 10 years
learning the local language and people still
know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open
your mouth.

You return after 10 years and the first foods you
want are a "real" pizza and a "real" bagel.

A 500 square foot apartment is large.

You know the differences between all the different
Ray's pizzas.

You are not under the mistaken impression that
any human being would be able to actually
understand a p.a. Announcement on the subway.

You wouldn't bother ordering pizza in any other city.

You get ready to order dinner every night and
must choose from the major food groups which
are: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.

You're not the least bit interested in going to Times
Square on New Year's eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know
when alternate side of the street parking regulations
are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your
wallet.

You don't even notice the lady walking down the
road having a perfectly normal conversation with
herself.

You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car.

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston
street like the city in Texas.

The presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not
an honor.

You can nap on the subway and never miss
your stop.

The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage
you buy, even if it's a beer.
Received on Tue Jan 3 04:09:58 2006