My Living Will

"My Living Will"

  I, ______________ , being of sound mind and
body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by
artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be
put in the hands of pinhead politicians who
couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested
in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and
I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

__x____ a Margarita
__x____ a Steak
__x____ Lobster or crab legs
__x____a Bowl of ice cream
__x____Chocolate
__xxx__ Some kind of sex daily

Then, and only then, it may be presumed
that I won't ever get better.

Thus when such a determination is reached,
I hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel
in the tubes and call it a day [ or a life ] .

***************************************

"The Pilot"

At a grocery checkout counter, my father
was sorting through various currencies,
searching for US dollars to pay for his
purchases.

"Looking at all that foreign money," the
cashier said, "I bet you're going overseas."

"I'm an airline pilot," Dad explained.
"I frequently fly to the Orient."

"Oooo, a pilot! That must be exciting!"

"Not if you do it right," replied my father."
Received on Sun Feb 26 01:27:23 2006