Nightstick

"Dyslexic Police"

A dyslexic cop is severely reprimanded by his
captain because the spelling on his police
reports is incomprehensible. "How can you
expect anyone to read this! If you file just one
more report with any and I mean *ANY* words
misspelled, you are going on report!" screams
the captain.

The cop vows not to make any more mistakes.
The next day he is in his patrol car when a report
of a traffic accident comes over his two way radio.
He arrives on the scene to discover a grisly
head-on collision. The cop takes out his notebook
and begins to write, taking care to spell each
word correctly.

"One, O-N-E. Ford, F-O-R-D. In the ditch, D-I-T-C-H."

"That's good," thinks the cop as he walks across
the street to the other vehicle.

"One, O-N-E. Dodge, D-O-D-G-E. In the ditch,
D-I-T-C-H.

"I am doing great!" says the cop out loud as he
confidently walks to the middle of the highway,
where he discovers a decapitated head.

"One, O-N-E. Head, H-E-A-D. In the boulevard,
B-O-L ... B-L-U ...B-O-L-L ... B-I-L ..."

Finally, the frustrated cop looks around, then
kicks the head with his boot, and writes, "One
head in the D-I-T-C-H."

********************************************

"Nightstick"

Two men are driving through New Jersey when
they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The
Trooper walks up and taps on the window with
his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window
and WHACK, the Trooper smacks him in the
head with the stick. The driver asks, "What the
devil was that for?"

The Trooper answers, "You're in New Jersey
son. When we pull you over, you better have
your license ready when we get to your car."

The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not
from around here."

The Trooper runs a check on the guy's license,
and he's clean. He gives the guy his license
back, walks around to the passenger side,
and taps on the window.

The passenger rolls down the window and
WHACK, the Trooper smacks him on the head
with the nightstick.

The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?"

The Trooper says, "Just making your wish
come true."

The passenger asks, "Making what wish
come true?"

The Trooper says, "I know that two miles down
the road you're gonna say to your buddy, "I wish
that jerk would've tried that stunt with me!"
Received on Tue Feb 21 00:34:10 2006