The Lament Of The Second

"Good News"

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an
Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says,
"Your wife was in a serious car accident, and
I have bad news and good news. The bad
news is she has lost all use of both arms
and both legs, and will need help eating
and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My G~d. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

******************************************

"The Lament Of The Second"

The grief-stricken man threw himself at the
grave and cried bitterly, "My wife, oh how
senseless is it! How worthless this carcass
about me, because you are gone. If only you
had lived, if only fate had not been so cruel
as to take you from this world, how everything
would have been different."

A clergyman nearby overheard him and said,
"I assume the person lying beneath this
mound of earth was someone of great
importance to you."

"Importance? Indeed it was," wept the man.
"It's my wife's first husband!"
Received on Tue Feb 7 04:01:11 2006