Only In America

"Only In America"

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight
for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote
in a national election.

We're the country that has more food to eat than
any other country in the world, and with more diets
to keep us from eating it.

We yell for the Government to balance the budget,
then take the last dime we have to make the down
payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.

We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving,
then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles
an hour.

We know the line-up of every baseball team in the
American and National Leagues but mumble through
half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner,"

We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to
make us live longer, then drive 80 miles an hour
on slick pavement to make up for lost time.

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year
old son run wild.

We will work hard on a farm so we can move into
town.... where we can make more money so we
can move back to the farm.

We get upset we're spending over a billion dollars
for education, but spend three billion dollars a year
for cigarettes.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or
fishing, but when we're out at the game, the mall
or on the lake, we talk about business.

We're supposed to be the most civilized nation on
earth, but we still deliver payrolls in armored cars.

We have more experts on marriage than any other
country in the world ....and still have more divorces.

We applaud our free press even when they convict
innocent people in print.

Our laws are like a spider's web, designed to catch
the common fly...but seldom holds the hornet.
Received on Fri Dec 29 00:18:32 2006