Signs You're In A Bad Hospital

"Signs You're In A Bad Hospital"

10. You go in for routine surgery, you come
out with a tail.

9. You recognize your doctor as kid who was
mopping the lobby when you checked in.

8. Instead of sponge bath, they send St.
Bernard to lick you

7. As you're going under, your surgeon says,
"Man, am I baked."

6. In the operating room, they have one of
these guys [shot of "Late Show" staffer Bill
Scheft waving]

5. Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle
playing Taps.

4. All the diplomas on the wall are signed by
Sally Struthers.

3. You and your roommate have to take turns
on the I.V.

2. Through fog of anesthesia, you hear surgeon
shouting, "Bring the damn Scotch tape! And
plenty of it!"

1. Instead of "patient", they use the term "plaintiff."
Received on Thu Dec 14 08:21:07 2006