You Know You're Fired When...

"The Difference"

A pessimist was asked, what is the difference
between an optimist and a pessimist.

To which he replied: "A pessimist says, 'we've
hit the lowest point, the situation can't get any
worse.'

An optimist says, 'No, it can still get worse.'"

*****************************************

"You Know You're Fired When..."

1. You hand a bank teller an envelope, and
when she asks, "What's this?" you realize
you just dropped the company's deposit in
a mailbox and gave her your mail.

2. As a woman comes into the store, you
turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited
on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your
turn!" Your boss is standing behind you. It's
his wife.

3. While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in
and look at some confidential information on
his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard.
It shorts out.

4. You return from a week's vacation to find
that you had scheduled *this* week as
vacation, not last week.

5. You take a "sick" day. The next morning
the boss asks you, "So, how was the
fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?"

6. You wake up hung over. You have a black
eye and barked knuckles. Your underwear
is missing. You're in jail. Last night was the
company Christmas party.
Received on Mon Dec 4 06:24:05 2006