Square Balls

"Square Balls"

A little old lady entered the main branch of a large
downtown bank with a large grocery bag in her arms.
She told the teller that she wanted to open an account
to make a substantial deposit, in excess of $200,000.
Further, she said that since such a large sum was
involved, she would deal only with the president of the
bank to make the necessary arrangements.

The teller looked in the bag and confirmed that it was,
in fact, full of cash. He called upstairs and explained
the situation to the bank president, who agreed to see
the woman. The teller escorted her to the presidents
office, and the president invited her to have a seat,
which she accepted.

She repeated her request to open an account. The
president said he would take care of it personally, but
his curiosity was killing him. He said, "Mind if I ask
how you happened to come into such a large sum of
cash?"

"Not at all," was her reply. "I bet."

"You bet?" he countered. "At the racetrack, or on
professional sports, or in casinos...?"

"Nothing like that," she said. "I just ... bet. For example,
I'll bet you $50,000 that by tomorrow morning your
balls will be square."

The president chuckled but, seeing that the lady had
the funds to back up such a wild bet, agreed. They
shook hands on it, and she promised to return at nine
the next morning to follow up, and left.

As the day wore on, the president found himself
frequently checking to make sure that all was in order.
It was, but just as a precaution he cancelled his
regular Tuesday afternoon golf match and went home
early.

The next morning when he showered, he was actually
quite relieved to find that nothing had changed
drastically while he slept. He confidently headed for
the bank, laughing all the way at the unexpected
windfall that was about to become his.

The little old lady showed up promptly at the appointed
hour, accompanied by a young man. When the president
asked who he was, she replied that he was her lawyer,
who she always brought along when payoffs involving
significant sums were involved.

The president told her that sorry, she had lost that
particular bet, so the funds would be outgoing rather
than incoming. She insisted on examining the evidence
for herself, considering the amount at stake. He deemed
it a reasonable request under the circumstances, so he
stood up, unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants. She
proceeded to closely inspect his jewels for any
abnormalities. As she did, the president noticed that
her lawyer was standing in the corner, banging his head
against the wall.

He asked the lady, "What's the matter with him?"

She paused her inspection long enough to glance at the
lawyer and replied, "Oh, him. I bet him $250,000 that
before ten A.M. today I'd have the president of the
bank by the balls."
Received on Mon Dec 4 06:21:09 2006