Poisonous Snakes

"The Vet"

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself
through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two
vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and
their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore,
his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door
saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -
- Either way, you get your dog back!"

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"Poisonous Snakes"

Two little snakes were wiggling along the side of the
road when the first little snake turned to the second
little snake and asked, "Are we poisonous?"

"Why?" asked the second little snake, to which the
first little snake replied,

"Because I just bit my lip!"

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"Jesus and the Burglar"

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought
was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but
suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud
voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept
forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he
spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is
watching me?"

"Yes," said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the
parrot: "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the
Rottweiler Jesus."
Received on Sat Dec 2 09:23:20 2006