Don't Step On The Ducks!

"Duck Food"

One day a convenience store worker was
sitting not doing much. At 2 o'clock the
doors swing open and a duck walks in.

"Do you have any duck food?" the duck asks.

"No we don't got any duck food."

"Okay, thanks anyway", says the duck, and
walks out.

The next day at 2 o'clock the doors swing
open again, and the same duck walks in.

"Got any duck food?" he asks.

The clerk is a little annoyed, "No! We don't
have any duck food!"

"Fine." the duck says and walks out.

The third day at 2 o'clock the doors swing
open and the duck walks in and asks, "Got
any duck food?"

By now the clerk so getting very annoyed: "No"
he yells, "We don't have any duck food! We
didn't have any yesterday won't don't have any
today and we wont have any tomorrow! And if
you come in here again and ask if we have and
duck food, I'll nail your little web feet to the floor!!!!"

All the duck does is turn and walk out the door.

On the forth day at 2 o'clock the doors swing
open and the duck walks in:

"Got any nails?" the duck asks.

"No, we don't got nails."

"Well then," the duck says, "Got any duck food?"

*****************************************************

"Don't Step On The Ducks!"

Three women die together in an accident and go
to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says,
"We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't
step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and
sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and
although they try their best to avoid them, the first
woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes
St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St.
Peter chains them together and says, "Your
punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps
on a duck, and along come St. Peter, who doesn't
miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly
man. He chains them together with the same
punishment as the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not
wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man,
is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages
to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one
day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome
man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular,
and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together
without saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve
being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says,
"Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
Received on Thu Aug 24 08:53:53 2006