Speeding as an Art Form

"Speeding Ticket"

A man was speeding down the highway,
feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling
at the same speed. However, as they passed
a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared
speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received
his signature and was about to walk away
when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was
speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there
were plenty of other cars around me who
were going just as fast, so why did I get
the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly
asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever
catch all the fish?"

**********************************************

"Speeding as an Art Form"

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding
and has the following exchange.

Officer: "May I see your driver's license?"

Driver: "I don't have one. I had it suspended
when I got my 5th DWI."

Officer: "May I see the owner's card for this
vehicle?"

Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it."

Officer: "The car is stolen?"

Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it,
I think I saw the owner's card in the glove
box when I was putting my gun in there."

Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?"

Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after
I shot and killed the woman who owns
this car and stuffed her in the trunk."

Officer: "There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?"

Driver: "Yes, sir."

Hearing this, the officer immediately called
his captain. The car was quickly surrounded
by police, and the captain approached the
driver to handle the tense situation.

Captain: "Sir, can I see your license?"

Driver: "Sure. Here it is."

It was valid.

Captain: "Who's car is this?"

Driver: "It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's
card."

The driver owned the car.

Captain: "Could you slowly open your glove
box so I can see if there's a gun in it?"

Driver: "Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it."

Sure enough, there was nothing in the
glove box.

Captain: "Would you mind opening your
trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it."

Driver: "No problem."

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: "I don't understand it. The officer
who stopped you said you told him you didn't
have a license, stole the car, had a gun in
the glove box, and that there was a dead
body in the trunk."

Driver: "Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you
I was speeding, too."
Received on Sun Aug 20 13:06:20 2006