Pretend Heart Attack

"Hit or Miss"

A guy stood over his tee shot for what
seemed an eternity; looking up, looking
down, measuring the distance, figuring
the wind direction and speed. He was
driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says,
"What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there
watching me from the clubhouse. I
want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man-you don't stand a chance
of hitting her from here!"

*********************************************

"Holding Hands"

John says to his friend, "My Mary and I, we
are always holding hands."

"Why do you do this?" asks his friend.

"Because if I let go, she shops."

*********************************************

"Pretend Heart Attack"

Although this married couple enjoyed their
luxury fishing boat together, it was the
husband who was behind the wheel
operating the boat. He was concerned
about what might happen in an emergency.

So one day out on the lake he said to his
wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend
that I am having a heart attack. You must
get the boat safely to shore."

So she drove the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the
living room where her husband was
watching television. She sat down next to
him, switched the TV channel, and said to
him sweetly,

"Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend
I'm having a heart attack. You must set
the table, cook the dinner, serve it and
wash the dishes."
Received on Sat Aug 5 01:06:43 2006