Worried to Death

"Worried to Death"

The ninety-five year old woman at the
nursing home received a visit from one
of her fellow church members.

"How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.

"Oh," said the woman, "I'm just worried sick!"

"What are you worried about, dear?" her friend
asked. "You look like you're in good health.
They are taking care of you, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are taking very good care of me."

"Are you in any pain?" she asked.

"No, I have never had a pain in my life."

"Well, what are you worried about?" her friend
asked again.

The woman leaned back in her rocking chair
and slowly explained her major worry.

"Every close friend I ever had has already
died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid
they're all wondering where I went."

****************************************

"First Confession"

A priest was being honored at his retirement
dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading
local politician and member of the congregation
was chosen to make the presentation and give a
little speech at the dinner.

He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his
own few words while they waited. "I got my first
impression of the parish from the first confession
I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to
a terrible place. The very first person to enter my
confessional told me he had stolen a television
set and, when questioned by the police, was able
to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from
his parents, embezzled from his employer, had
an affair with his boss' wife, taken illegal drugs
and he had given VD to his sister.

I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew
that my people were not all like that and I had,
indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and
loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician
arrived full of apologies at being late. He
immediately began to make the presentation
and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day
our parish priest arrived," said the politician.
"In fact, I had the honor of being the first one
to go to him in confession."
Received on Fri Aug 4 00:07:00 2006