You Know It's Time To Go Home When ...

"You Know It's Time To Go Home When ..."

- You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

- You've just had to get someone to help you pull your
   pants up in the ladies room.

- You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.

- You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor,
   pick it up and carry on eating.

- You start crying.

- There are less than three hours before you're due
   to start work.

- The person you're flirting with used to be your
   5th grade teacher.

- The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on
   a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.

- You've forgotten where you live.

- You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the 60
   cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned
   like 10 times by now) you only smoke when you drink.

- You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you
   by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you
   can no longer taste the gin or vodka.

- You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels
   strangely like pizza.

- You start every conversation with a booming,
   "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

- Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling
   take-down moves.
Received on Tue Sep 27 06:14:20 2005