Scrotum Self-Repair

"Scrotum Self-Repair"
A True Story by:
William A. Morton, Jr. MD

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the
head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had
refused to describe his problem other than to say that
he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles."
The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously
uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly
opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and
black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted
me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards
of foul-smelling-stained gauze wrapped about his scr-tum,
which was swollen to about twice the size of grapefruit and
extremely tender. A jagged zigzag laceration, oozing pus
and blood extended down the left scr-tum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates,
I saw some half-buried linear objects and asked the patient
what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had
injured himself in the machine shop where he worked,
and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty
stapling gun.

The dark objects were staples of the type used in putting
up wallboard.

We x-rayed the patient's scr-tum to locate the staples;
admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin,
broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene
sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure
consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of
the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and
the skin edges were trimmed and fastened. The left testis
had been avulsed and was missing.

The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal
canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not
much of a hematoma was present. Through-and-through
Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site and the skin
was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from
the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the
rest of his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn't
leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers.
Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of
masturbating by holding his p-nis against the canvas drive-
belt of a floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as
he approached org-sm, he lost his concentration and leaned
too close to the belt. When his scr-tum suddenly became
caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was
thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that
he had lost his left testicle, and perhaps too stunned to feel
much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.
I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

I don't think he ever filed a Workman's Compensation claim
for this accident, but strangely enough.... I'm sure it would
have qualified.
Received on Fri Sep 23 09:33:32 2005