Privatizing Social Security

"The Speaker"

The after-dinner speaker just didn't have a Stop
button. He burbled on and on and on, oblivious
to his increasingly restless audience. Finally
one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty
wine bottle at him. It missed, and hit the Chairman
instead.

As the Chairman slid slowly to the floor clutching
his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again,
I can still hear him."

*************************************

"Without Bias"

Judge to the court, at the start of a case: "I have
to declare an interest in this case. Last week,
the plaintiff sent me a check for $10,000 to find
in his favor. Two days later, I received $20,000
from the defendant to find in his favor. I have
therefore sent $10,000 back to the defendant
and can try the case without bias."

*************************************

"Privatizing Social Security"

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock
one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left
of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less
than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of
Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then
turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment
advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan.
Received on Fri Sep 9 19:09:16 2005