Men Are Like...

"Men Are Like..."

Men are like..... Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the
table.

Men are like..... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like..... Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they
just look silly.

Men are like..... Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like..... Parking spots.
The good ones are taken, and the rest are too
small.

Men are like..... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's
about it.

Men are like..... Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like..... Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate
much interest.

Men are like..... High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like..... Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

*************************************************

"Dear Tide Company"

I am writing to say what an excellent product you
have! I've used it all through my married life, as my
Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am
in my fifties, I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine
on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and
uncaring husband started to berate me about how
clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a
pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up
with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to
get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it
just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased
a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and,
to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains
came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the
detectives who came by yesterday told me that the
DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then
my attorney called and said that I would no longer
be considered a suspect in the disappearance
of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad
enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you,
once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty
bag people!!!
Received on Fri Sep 9 08:41:38 2005