Halloween Authenticity

"The Halloween Costume Problems"

There's a man with a bald head and a wooden leg
who gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't
know what costume to wear to hide his head and
his leg so he writes to a costume company to
explain his problem. A few days later he received
a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir:
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with
your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have
just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes
a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives
another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir:
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe
will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head,
you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone
from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his
bald head so he writes the company another nasty
letter of complaint. The next day he received a small
parcel and a note which read:

Dear Sir:

Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses. Pour the
molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden
leg up your butt and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

************************************************

"Halloween Authenticity"

An blond went into a pet shop and asked the owner
if he had any parrots. The owner replied, "Sorry, I
don't have any at the moment."

"Damn and blast!" said the blonde, "I have been invited
to a fancy dress party for the first time in my life, and I
have been told to be as authentic as possible, hence the
need for the parrot explained the Blond.

"Well" said the owner, "if you come back here next week,
specifically on Thursday, I am expecting a shipment from
South America and I'll be able to supply you with a parrot,
guaranteed,"

"Damn and blast!" said the blonde, "I can't come on that
day or for some time after."

"Why not?" Asked the owner.

"Because that is the day I'm having my leg amputated!"
Received on Mon Oct 31 00:02:59 2005