The Pessimist and a Dog

"Penguins"

A man is driving down the highway and passes
a state motorcycle officer.

The officer notices the man and also sees that he
has 4 penguins in the backseat of the car. The
officer chases down the car and pulls the man over,
and after a short inspection of the vehicle says to the
driver "what are you doing with 4 penguins in your car?"

To which the man replies "Just taking them for a ride
officer."

Visibly upset, the cop instructs the man to take the
penguins to the zoo.

The next day the same man is driving down the same
highway and is spotted by the same motorcycle cop.
Again the cop gives chase and pulls the car over and
upon inspection sees the same 4 penguins in the
backseat only this time the penguins are wearing
bright colored swim trunks and sun glasses.

The cop, really ticked off this time, says, "I thought I
told you to take those penguins to the zoo yesterday"

The man smiles and replies, "I did! They liked that so
much that today I decided to take them to the beach!"

********************************************

"The Pessimist and a Dog"

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a
pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds
the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can
only find the negative in the positive.

For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market
for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found
a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a
duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his
friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of
his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt
with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and
jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink
but instead walked across the water to retrieve the
bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This
continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog
walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but
did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did
you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."
Received on Sun Oct 2 09:42:51 2005