The Most Egotistical Profession

"The Most Egotistical Profession"

A bishop, a judge, and a conductor were discussing
their careers, and got into an argument about which
of them was the greatest.

The judge said, "When I step into the courtroom,
everyone stands to pay me respect."

The bishop said, "They stand? I have people kneel
before me and kiss my ring."

To which the conductor replied, "Ha! I got you both
beat. When I step on the podium people look down,
cover their eyes, and say 'Oh my G~d!'"

*************************************

"French Horn"

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and
when she came back her roommate asked, "Well,
how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great
kisser?"

"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little
pucker; it was no fun at all."

The next night she went out with a tuba player, and
when she came back her roommate asked, "Well,
how was his kissing?"

"Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery,
blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just
gross!"

The next night she went out with a French horn player,
and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well,
how was his kissing?"

"Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so;
but I loved the way he held me!"
Received on Sat Oct 1 01:24:52 2005