Driving in Florida

"Wind"

My wife and I were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike,
bucking 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswind. At the tollbooth,
I asked the attendant, "What do you people do in
Kansas when the wind quits?"

The tollbooth attendant didn't miss a beat. She
answered,

"We take the rocks out of our pockets."

***********************************

"Driving in Florida"

I was on vacation in Florida, and was appalled
by Miami's chaotic traffic.

I asked the bellhop at the hotel why it was so
disorderly and was told,

"In some countries they drive on the right,
in others on the left. Here we drive in the shade."

***********************************

"Camping"

Last summer, my husband, Steve, took me camping
for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along
outdoor-survival lore.

One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. Steve
tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss
on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun
(it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to
panic, he spotted a small cabin off in the distance.
Steve pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin,
turned and led us right back to our camp.

"That was terrific," I said. "How did you do it?"

"Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country all
TV satellite dishes point south."
Received on Sat Nov 26 01:20:53 2005