Nearsighted

"Nearsighted"

A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that
Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.

The note read: Bill Jones having gone to sea,
his wife desires the prayers of the congregation
for his safety.

Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled
his audience by announcing: Bill Jones, having
gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the
congregation for his safety.

********************************************

"You Might Be A Preacher If..."

a.. Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.

b.. You've ever lied at a funeral.

c.. You always read the obituaries.

d.. You've ever suffered anxiety attack while playing
      Bible Trivia Pursuit.

e.. You wonder why people who have some time to
      kill want to spend it with you.

f.. You get your second wind when you say "And, in
conclusion."

g.. The ideas you bounce off board members really do.

h.. Your car tires are balding faster than your head.

i.. You wish someone would steal some of your sheep.

j.. You've seen more religion at a pool hall than you've
     seen at a Church cricket match.

k.. Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.

l.. "Annual Church Meeting" and "Armageddon" are one
      and the same to you.

m. You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the
      church building.
Received on Fri Nov 25 07:23:23 2005