Turkey Talk-line Greatest Hits

"Butterball Turkey Talk-line Greatest Hits"

(or, "Memorable Moments in Talk-Line History;"
or, "Out of the Mouths of.... Turkey Trauma Victims")

Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff
have had their share of memorable calls -- inquiries
that stand out from the crowd because they're
heartwarming or amusing. We asked some of the
veteran staff members to tell us their favorites; plus,
we rounded up a bunch of our own personal favorites
from the Talk-Line archives. Its hard to beat the call
from a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving
turkey on the engine of his truck ("Will it cook faster if
I drive faster?"), but some of these come pretty close.
  Warning: do not attempt to adjust your screen -- these
are real incidents, true stories -- from the front lines!

* Home alone, a Kentucky woman was in the
doghouse when she called the Butterball Turkey
Talk-Line. While preparing the turkey, her Chihuahua
jumped into the bird's body cavity and couldn't get out.
She tried pulling the dog and shaking the bird, but
nothing worked. She and the dog became more and
more distraught. After calming the woman down, the
Talk-Line home economist suggested carefully cutting
the opening in the cavity of the turkey wider. It worked
and Fido was freed!

* Taking turkey preparation an extra step, a Virginian
wondered, "How do you thaw a fresh turkey?" The
Talk-Line staffer explained that fresh turkeys aren't
frozen and don't need to be thawed.

* Don't wait until the last minute! On Thanksgiving
Day, a Georgian woman took the "Be prepared"
motto to heart. She had just agreed to host
Thanksgiving Dinner and called the Talk-Line
a year ahead of time for turkey tips.

* Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called
to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey.
To answer the question, the Talk-Line home
economist asked how much the bird weighed.
The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still
running around outside."

* Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it,
Thanksgiving just isn't Thanksgiving without turkey.
A restaurant owner in California wanted to know
how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu.

* White meat, anyone? A West Coast woman
took turkey preparation to extremes by scrubbing
her bird with bleach. Afterward, she called the
Talk-Line to find out how to clean off the bleach.
To her dismay, she was advised to dispose of
the turkey.

* A young girl called on behalf of her mother
who needed roasting advice. To provide
approximate roasting times, the home economist
asked what size the turkey was. Without asking
her mother the little girl paused, then replied,
"Medium."
Received on Tue Nov 22 07:12:51 2005