Grading

"Grading"

Realizing that I'd put on a pound or two,
I lamented to my husband, "I'm fat."

And right on cue he said what all good husbands
must: "You're not fat."

To support his position, he added, "Just look
around you at others, and you will see that
you are not fat."

But our daughter, a high schooler, saw through it:
"Mom, he's grading you on the curve!"

*****************************************

"I Descend Into Hell"

A college drama group presented a play in which
one character would stand on a trap door and
announce, "I descend into hell!"

A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the
trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop
from view.

The play was well received. When the actor playing
the part became ill, another actor who was quite
overweight took his place. When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand
pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge,
but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of
tugging on the rope could make him descend.

One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
"Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
Received on Mon May 30 01:51:51 2005