Occupational Hazards

"Occupational Hazards"

Three chums, who had been friends since high school,
were drinking heavily at their reunion. They started telling
exciting job related war stories. As the drinks flowed the
embellishment became vast.

George, who had graduated from the police academy,
told of the gang holdup of the First City National Bank.
He, alone, cornered and held the gang in their hideaway
until reinforcements arrived and the entire gang was
arrested without injury. For his service he was awarded
the Meritorious City Citation.

Fred, who had trained as a fireman, became the City Fire
Marshall. In one major blaze, when a 30 unit apartment was
subject of a 5 alarm fire call, Fred single handedly raced into
the burning structure and rescued a woman and her three
small children, carrying the baby to safety within his fire coat.

Elmerot, after high school graduation, became a mortician.
He enjoyed working with people, the pay was good, and the
job was quiet. Elmerot had only one event that he thought
worthy of discussion.

He was working the evening shift when the First City Hotel
phoned and said that a patron had died and that the mortuary
should recover the body.

Elmerot took the panel body recovery truck and drove to the
hotel. There was no parking space available and the only
loading zone was occupied. Elmerod double parked the truck
and took a collapsible gurney into the hotel where he was
directed to the third floor and was instructed to recover the
body without disturbing the hotel guests.

Elmerot said, “When I entered the room I saw this huge man,
lying in bed, on his back with an enormous erection. The sheet
was tented like a pale pyramid. I didn't know what to do. In that
condition he wouldn't fit into a body bag and I couldn't just put
him on the gurney and wheel him into the elevator and out
through the lobby.”

“So,” Elmerot continued. “I broke a leg off of a straight back
chair and thrashed, smashed and beat the day lights out of
that erection. It immediately became flaccid.”

George interrupted, “That’s interesting, but not exciting.”

“Oh yes it was,” continued Elmerot. “I was in the wrong room.”
Received on Tue Mar 22 07:09:09 2005