How To Keep Your Sanity

"Intended Contradiction"

The Irish are famous for uttering remarks that
contradict each other. These statements of paradox
-- although appearing to have two opposite meanings
-- may nonetheless have a logic of their own. For
instance:

O'Shay had been having a bitter argument with a friend,
and now he was about to finish him off once and for all.

"The sooner I never see your face again," said O'Shay,
"the better it will be for both of us when we meet!"

*******************************

"How To Keep Your Sanity"

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids.

She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me
nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way
to the nut hatch."

"What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from
yourself," her friend said.

So Mary bought a playpen.

A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were
going.

"Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said. "I get in that playpen
with a good book and the kids don't bother me one bit!"
Received on Thu Mar 17 06:57:26 2005