How To Make Children Behave

"How To Make Children Behave"

Our 13 year old niece spent last night with us. When
we dropped her off at home, my sister-in-law asked
how she behaved. "She was an angel," I informed her.

"Really?" she questioned.

"Yes, really. A perfect angel." I assured her.

"I just don't understand. Whenever she is with you she
is well behaved. Whenever she is at home, she is a
monster. She misbehaves for everyone else. In fact, the
teachers at her school drew straws to see who would be
stuck with her in their class. How come she always
behaves for you?" My sister in law asked.

"I don't know. I guess I just have a way with children. I
also try to educate them as well. A child is never to young
to learn." I answered.

"What do you mean. What did you teach her?" She inquired.

"Well, for instance, children need to learn about death and
dying so they better understand this process. I explained
this concept very carefully to her." I informed my sister-in-law.

"Really? You explained this to her at 13?" She asked
dumbfounded.

"Well actually she was much younger when I explained
this. She now understands death perfectly. Which is
good, because it makes threatening her with it, much more
effective."

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"Last Child Support Check"

Today my baby girl's 18th birthday. I be so glad
that this be my last child support payment! Month
after month, year after year, all those damn
payments! So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to
come to my house, and when she get there, I
say, "Baby Girl, I want you to take this to yo momma
house and tell her this be the last check she ever
be gettin' from me, and I want you to come back
and tell me the 'spression on yo mama's face."

So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma.
I be anxious to hear what she say, and bout the
'spression on her face. Baby girl walk through the
door, I say, "Now what yo momma say 'bout that?"

"She say to tell you that you ain't my daddy ... and
watch the 'spression on yo face."
Received on Sat Jul 30 09:33:24 2005