Woman Reincarnated

"Woman Reincarnated"

In my next life - I Want to be a Bear

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do
nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal
with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat
yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are
the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and
wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I
could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean
business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too. I
could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up
growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs
and excess body fat.

Yup..... I wanna be a bear.

*********************************************

"Religious Bear"

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who
was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were
unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast
as he could.

The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up
at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.

Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the
bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down
on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed,
"Dear G~d! Please give this bear some 'religion!'"

The sky darkened and there was lightning in the air.
Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to
abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said,

"Thank you, Lord, for the food I'm about to receive...."
Received on Tue Jul 19 07:34:54 2005