You Know You Are A Bad Cook When..

"You Know You Are A Bad Cook When..."

You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart
stays in one piece.

Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate
in bulk.

Your family automatically heads for the
dinner table every time they hear a fire
truck siren.

The EPA insists that all your garbage
cans be marked with biohazard symbols.

Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

Your two best recipes are meatloaf and
apple pie, but your dinner guests can
tell which is which.

Your pie-filling bubbles over and eats the
enamel off the bottom of the oven.

You've used three boxes of scouring pads
and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar and
that macaroni and cheese still won't let go
of the pan.

You make tuna noodle surprise and the
surprise is that it glows in the dark and
melts the silverware.

Your family prays AFTER they eat!

*************************************

"Signs Found In Kitchens"

Clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to
be happy.

So this isn't Home Sweet Home.

Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer do it
yourself!

I clean house every other day. Today is the other
day!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this
kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is dark chocolate in one hand and
white chocolate in the other.

Remember only dull women have immaculate
houses.
Received on Sun Dec 25 05:48:14 2005