Polar Bear's Problem

"Updated Version: The Three Bears"

This should end all the three bears stories . . . . .

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his
small chair at the table, he looks into his
small bowl. It is empty.

"Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in
his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and
it is also empty. "Who's been eating my
porridge?!!" he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving
hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For the Lord's
sake, how many times do we have to go through
this with you idiots?

"It was Momma Bear who got up first. It was
Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house.
It was Momma Bear who made the coffee. It was
Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from
last night and put everything away. It was Momma
Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to
fetch the newspaper. It was Momma Bear who set
the damn table. It was Momma Bear who put the
darn cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the
cat's water and food dishes. And, now that you've
decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs
and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy
presence, listen good. Because I'm only going to
say this one more time:

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE BLOODY PORRIDGE YET!!!!"

*****************************************

"Polar Bear's Problem"

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear
and his son polar bear were sitting in the snow.
The son polar bear turned to his father and
asked, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?"

The father polar bear replied, "Of course, son,
you're 100% polar bear."

A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns
to his father again and says, "Dad, tell me the
truth. I can take it. Am I 100% polar bear? No
brown bear or panda bear or grizzly bear?"

The father polar bear replies, "Son, I'm 100%
polar bear, your mother is 100% polar bear, so
you are definitely 100% polar bear."

A few more minutes pass, and the son polar
bear AGAIN turns to his father and says, "Dad,
don't think your sparing my feelings if it's not
true. I gotta know -- am I 100% polar bear?"

The father polar bear was distressed by this
continued questioning and asked his son,
"Why do you keep asking if you're 100%
polar bear?"

"Because I'm freezing!"
Received on Thu Dec 22 08:37:34 2005