Who's the Boss?

"New Employees"

How to Place New Employees
in a Proper Department:

Take the prospective employees you are
trying to place and put them in a room with
only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone
for two hours, without any instruction. At the
end of that time, go back and see what they
are doing.

If they have taken the table apart, put them
in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray,
assign them to Finance.

If they are waving their arms and talking out
loud, send them to Consulting.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is
a good spot for them.

If they are wearing green sunglasses and
need a haircut, Computer Information Systems
is their niche.

If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're
destined for the Help Desk.

If they mention what a good price we got for the
table and chairs, put them into Purchasing.

If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES
NOT come from rainforest, Public Relations
would suit them well.

If they are writing up the experience, send them
to the Technical Documents team.

If they don't even look up when you enter the
room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks,
send them to Marketing.

If they are sleeping, they are Senior
Management material.

***********************************************

"Who's the Boss?"
{A Classic}

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because
I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing
would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because
I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all
waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"
Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I
carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because
I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because
I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and
insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the
eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. After
another consideration, all the organs decided
that the rectum should be the boss after all.

The Moral of the Story?

It's the a*shole who's usually in charge!!
Received on Mon Dec 19 06:33:09 2005