Herb Roasted Turkey

"Pig's Toes"

In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten
together to discuss some important issues. About
midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the
farmers stood up and spoke her peace.

When she was done, one of the old farmers stood
up and said, "What does she know about anything?
I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes
a pig has?"

Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your
boots sir, and count them yourself!"

***********************************************

"Cat Food"

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good
game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh,
no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband!
He's going to really ticked if it's not ready on time!" she
exclaimed suddenly.

When she got home, she realized that she didn't have
enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had
in the cupboard was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and
a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat
food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce
leaf just as her husband pulled up.

She greeted her husband and then watched in horror
as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the
husband really enjoyed his dinner. "Darling, this is the
best dinner you have made for me in forty years
of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."

Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the
woman made her husband the same dish. She told
her bridge cronies about it and they were all horrified.

"You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.

Two months later, her husband died.

The women were sitting around the table playing bridge
when one of the cronies said, "You killed him! We told
you that feeding him that cat food every week would do
him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play
bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"

The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the
mantel while he was licking his butt."
Received on Thu Dec 15 17:34:55 2005