A Woman's Little Instruction Book

"A Woman's Little Instruction Book"

1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach you're aiming too high.

2. Women don't make fools of men -- most of
them are the do-it-yourself types.

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health
reason: you're sick of him.

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at
home. He probably lies about other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff
she asked her husband to do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they
try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they
never mature anyway.

8. A man who can dress himself without looking
like Forest Gump is unquestionably gay.

9. Men are all the same -- they just have different
faces so you can tell them apart.

10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets
out of the bath to pee.

11. Whenever you meet a man who would make
a good husband, you will usually find that he does.

12. Scientists have just discovered something
that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe
men -- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but
you can still use them.

14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive
and potentially violent, but they make great pets.

15. Men's brains are like the prison system --
not enough cells per man.

16. There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men -"don't" and "stop" (unless they're
used together).

17. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if
they're someone else's.

18. If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give
him a day and he will be back to his usual self.

19. All men are like chickens with their heads
cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.

20. If your man appears happy, excited and keeps
looking at you all of a sudden he is probably
checking out the women behind you.

21. Figuring out men is like trying to make a
jigsaw puzzle in a car, once you think you have
it all put together, you find another piece but you
don't know where it goes.
Received on Tue Dec 13 14:15:20 2005