Golf Meditations

"Ransom"

A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he
was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country
club at 10 o'clock the next day if he ever wanted to
see his wife alive again.

He didn't arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man
stepped out from behind some bushes and growled,
"What the hell took ya so long ? You're over two hours
late."

"Hey ! Give me a break." whined the Yuppie.
"I have a 27 handicap."

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"Golf Meditations"

If you really want to get better at golf, go back
and take it up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a
fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the
next group of three.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always
possible to play worse.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard,
you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your
opponents luck.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must
subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore
the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade"
on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
Received on Sun Aug 7 02:01:23 2005