Lunch

"Living in Michigan"

Chuck was sitting in an airplane when another
fellow took a seat beside him. The new guy was
an absolute wreck....pale, hands shaking, biting
his nails and moaning in fear.

"Hey pal, what's the matter?" Chuck asked.

"Oh man.... I've been transferred to Michigan," the
other guy answered, "there's crazy people in
Michigan....and they have shootings, gangs, race
riots, drugs, the highest crime rate...."

"Hold on" Chuck interrupted, "I've lived in Michigan
all my life and it is not as bad as the media says.
Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own
business, enroll your kids in a good school and
it's as safe as anywhere in the world."

The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking
for a moment and said, "Oh thank you. I've been
worried to death but if you live there and say it's OK, I
'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Chuck, "Oh, I'm nothing special. I'm a
tail gunner on a bread truck in Dearborn."

********************************************

"Lunch"

There were these three guys that all worked
together at a construction site. One was an
Italian, one was a Pollock, and the other was
an Englishman. One day, they were all sitting
down eating lunch when the Italian suddenly
jumped up and exclaimed, "If I have another
meatball sandwich for lunch then I will jump off
this building! I hate meatball sandwiches!!" The
Englishman suddenly stood up and said, "If I
have another corned beef sandwich for lunch,
then I will jump off with you!!" Then the Pollock
said, "If I have another Kielbasa sandwich for
lunch, then I will jump with you guys."

The next day came along and it was time for lunch.
The Italian opened his lunch box and found a
meatball sandwich so he jumped off the building.
The Englishman was next. He opened his lunch
and found a corned beef sandwich so he jumped
off the building. Then the Pollock found a Kielbasa
sandwich for lunch so he jumped off the building,
too!!!

At their funeral the following day, the 3 widows were
all talking. The Italian's widow told the other 2 women,
"If only I had known that he didn't like meatball
sandwiches!! He would still be alive today!!"

"Me too!" said the Englishman's wife. "I had no idea
that he didn't like corned beef!!"

Then the Pollock's wife said,"Don't look at me. He
packed his own lunch!"
Received on Tue Apr 26 08:43:01 2005