My Tax Remittance for 2004

"My Tax Remittance for 2004"

Enclosed is my 2005 Form 1040, together with payment.
Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today"
archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon
paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00
each for toilet seats.

Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats
(value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00).
This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00.

Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the
political purification of our government, I am also
enclosing a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw, for which
HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value
of $2200, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential
Election Fund option on Form 1040.

It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year,
and I look forward to paying them again next year
in accordance with officially established government
values.

Sincerely,

Another satisfied American taxpayer

****************************************

"The Obedient Wife"

There was a man who had worked all of his life,
had saved all of his money, and was a real miser
when it came to his money. Just before he died,
he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take
all my money and put it in the casket with me. I
want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of
her heart that when he died, she would put all of
the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket,
his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend
was sitting next to her. When they finished the
ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready
to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"
She had a box with her; she came over with the box
and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked
the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't foolish
enough to put all that money in there with your
husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I can't
go back on my word. I promised him that I was going
to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket
with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it
into my account and wrote him a check. If he can
cash it, he can spend it."
Received on Thu Apr 21 08:36:43 2005