Rednecks Medicul Dickshunary

"Soap & Water"

A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners
who he knew as being an unkempt housekeeper. When
he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were
the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.

"Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess,
running his fingers over the grit and grime.

She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could
get them."

He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway
and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so,
despite the dirty dishes.

When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside
and yelled, "Here Soap! Here Water!"

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"Rednecks Medicul Dickshunary"

ADENOIDS: Space creatures whut are keepin' Elvis
alive on Pluto.

ANASTHESIA: Rushun princez y'all studyed in skool.

ANTACID: Haloosinagenic drugs uzed by little bugs.

ARTERY: Whut the plastik Jesus on yer dashboard is.

BOWEL: A alfabit letter lyke A, E, I, O, or U.

BRONCHITIS: Dinosour frum the plastikseen age.

CAT SCAN: Lookin' fer hookers.

CAUTERIZE: Makin' eye contak with a hooker.

D&C: Washingtun--whar the weirdos, purvurts, &
kongress peepul live.

ENEMA: Sumone who ain't no frend.

FESTER: Yer unkles name.

GENITAL: Hed of a army--fer instanz, Genital Robert E.
Lee. G.I.

SERIES: Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.

HYPODERMIC: Big, fat zoo crittur.

PAP SMEAR: When peepul sez nasti things abowt yer
pappy.

RECOVERY: Whar yew fix up yer fernitur.

RECTUM: Whut happenz when yew drive yer pick up truck
drunk.

SEIZURE: Emperore of Rome.

TESTICLES: Books of the bible.

TUMOR: Number of beers yew can drink after last call.

URINE: Opposyte of yer out.
Received on Wed Sep 15 10:05:42 2004