Set for Life

"Retirement"

Approaching eighty-five years of age, Mrs. Harris finally
decided it was time to give up her apartment in New York
and move to Miami. She was given the name of a Florida
realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all over Miami,
extolling the virtues of every apartment they looked at.

"And this one, what a steal," he rhapsodized, "the investment
of a lifetime. Why, in ten years it's gonna be worth three times . . ."

"Sonny," interrupted Mrs. Harris, "at my age I don't even buy
green bananas."

****************************

"Set for Life"

A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old
fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon
in Aruba but, unfortunately, he suffered a coronary
and was hospitalized. When his young wife came
to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your
future has been taken care of regardless of what
happens to me. You will have an income of $250,000
a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas,
my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money."

"Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way," his young
wife exclaimed.

"You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be
devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to
help you. Please . . . tell me what I can do?"

"Well," the old man gasped, "you can quit pinching the
inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters."
Received on Thu Sep 2 12:14:59 2004