Worst Day Of His Life

"Oneliners"

Winter isn't cold, it's heat challenged

The speed of time is one-second per second.

I think of book-burning as "English lit"

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Life is too short to proofread.

Join the I.R.S. - Be Audit You Can Be!

Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

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"Worst Day Of His Life"

A little guy is sitting at the bar for half an hour staring
at his drink when a big trouble-making truck driver
walks in and sits next to him, grabs his drink, and
gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts
crying.

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time,"
says the truck driver, "I'll buy you another drink. I just
can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy
between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept.
I was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired
me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car
was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab
home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet
was still in the cab.

At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So
I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put
an end to my miserable life, and then you show up
and drink the damn poison!!!"
Received on Thu Nov 4 06:09:37 2004