Mid-Life for Women

"Mid-Life for Women"

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows
down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our
newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have
wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless
shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a
mirror and you can see your rear end without turning
around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize
that it is the only time someone will ask you to
appear topless on film.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young
lovely in a tube top and scream "Listen Honey, even
the Roman Empire fell, and those will, too!"

Mid-life brings with it the wisdom to know that life
throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all,
beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this, I have
stretch marks??"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact, the
only thing we can still retain is water.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You
start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why
am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can
I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
Received on Fri May 28 11:00:42 2004