D. U. I.

"D. U. I."

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly
rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time,
he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb,
and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his
keys for several minutes.

Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started
his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was
waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights
and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed
a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know
how that could be.

The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

********************************

"The Last Request"

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same
day, were led down to the room in which they would meet
their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the
formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final
prayer had been said among the participants.

The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son,
do you have a last request?"

To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance
music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last
time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man
and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final
request?"

"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."
Received on Sun May 23 10:10:31 2004