Sunday School

"Holy Land"

A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his
wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies.
They go to an undertaker who explains that they
can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000,
whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only
$150.

The guy says, "We'll ship her home."

The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully
big expense and we can do a very nice burial here."

The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy
here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just
can't take that chance."

*******************************************

"Sunday School"

If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage
sale, and gave all my money to the church, would
that get me into heaven?" she asked the children
in her Sunday school class.

"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard,
and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me
into heaven?"

Again the answer was, "NO!"

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy
to all the children and loved my husband, would that
get me into heaven?" she asked them again.

Once more they all answered, "NO!"

"Well," she continued, thinking they were a good bit
more theologically sophisticated than she had given
them credit for, "then how can I get into heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out,

"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"
Received on Mon Mar 29 06:07:14 2004