Excuse For Speeding

"4-Letter Words"

A young couple , a Long Island princess and
her childhood sweetheart who had just finished
his residency got married and went on their
honeymoon. When they got back, the bride
immediately called her mother. "Well," said her
mother," so how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was
wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst
out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned,
Sam started using the most horrible language --
things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these
awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home...,
PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You
need to stay with your husband and work this out.
Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT
4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the
daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too
awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so
upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words
like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.

*********************************************

"Excuse For Speeding"

There was a middle aged guy who bought a
brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off
down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and
enjoying the wind blowing through what little
hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he
thought and floored it some more.

Then he looked in his rear view mirror and there
was a highway patrol Trooper behind him, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring, "I can get away
from him with no problem," thought the man, he
floored it some more and flew down the road at
over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing?
I'm too old for this kind of thing." and pulled over to
the side of the road and waited for the state trooper
to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and
walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his
watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is
Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why
you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll
let you go."

The man looked back at the trooper and said, "Last
week my wife ran off with a state trooper and I
thought you were bringing her back."

"The state trooper replied, "Have a nice day."
Received on Tue Mar 23 14:14:32 2004