Fashion Advice for Over 50 Crowd

"Top 10 Party Games For People Over 50"

10. Musical Recliners

  9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta

  8. Hide and Go Pee

  7. Simon Says Something Incoherent

  6. Doc, Doc Goose

  5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over

  4. Kick the Bucket

  3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear

  2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy

  1. Sag, You're It

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Fashion Advice for Over 50 Crowd"

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY
over 50 or hovering near 50) are quite confused
about how we should present ourselves. We're
unsure about the kind of image we are projecting
and whether or not we are correct as we try to
be nice and conform to the fashions that the
designers in NYC, California, and/or Paris inflict
upon the world.

So I made a sincere study of the situation and
here are the results.

I don't want to burst your bubble, but despite what
you may have seen on the streets, the following
combinations DO NOT go together and thus
should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder
surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart
monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. In-line skates and a walker

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost
in your mind when you shop.
Received on Mon Mar 1 11:21:01 2004