Wisdom

"Lincoln's Address"

A report says high school students aren't very good
with American history. It's pretty shameful. On a
recent test, a majority of seniors thought Lincoln's
Gettysburg address was ALincoln@gettysburg.com..."

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"Special Request"

The personnel office received an email requesting
a listing of the department staff broken down by age
and sex.

The personnel office sent this reply...

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one
broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few
alcoholics."

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"Wisdom"

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're
going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely
your behind will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in
middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody
has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have
thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more
comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel
single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of
Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in
every joint, you are probably dead.
Received on Mon Jun 7 02:04:29 2004