The Spinster's Will

"The Spinster's Will"

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the
receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having
a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up
an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to
come into the office.

The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived
alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to
go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to
my house?"

The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed
and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to
discuss her estate and the will. The lawyer's first
question was, "Would you please tell me what you have
in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under
your will?"

She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories
you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings account
at the bank."

"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the
$40,000 to be distributed?"

The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a
reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so
I'd like them to notice when I pass on. I'd like to provide
$35,000 for my funeral."

The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able
to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will
leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have
taken much note of you! But tell me," he continued, "what
would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"

The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've
lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept
with a man. Before I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to
arrange for a man to sleep with me."

"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding,
"but I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."

That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about
the eccentric spinster and her weird request. He then jokingly
suggested that at that price he'd be willing to provide the
service himself. After thinking about how much she could do
around the house with $5,000, and with a bit of coaxing from
her husband, the wife agreed.

She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the
car until you're finished." The next morning, she drove him to
the spinster's house and waited while he went into the house.
She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out.
So she blew the car horn.

Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck
his head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow! She's going to
let the County bury her!"
Received on Mon Jul 26 03:16:56 2004