Smile Pretty For The Camera

"Smile Pretty For The Camera"

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove
through a school zone within the legal speed limit when
the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his
license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again;
even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a
third time at an even slower rate. Same result.

"Some idiot must have screwed up the settings," the
off-duty officer thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the
mail, he discovered three traffic tickets - each for not
wearing his seat belt.

********************************

"Barkeep's Troubles"

A man in a bar has a couple of beers, and the bartender tells
him he owes $4.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

"Okay," says the bartender, "If you said you paid, you did."

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees
that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers
have paid.

The second man then ruses in, orders a beer and later pulls the
same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and
tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink high-balls
when, suddenly, the bartender leans over sand says, "You
know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were
drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did.
The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in
the nose."

"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds.
"Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."
Received on Thu Jul 1 09:05:10 2004