Best Deal Yet

"Customary Charges"

An optometrist was instructing a new employee
on how to charge a customer:

"As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how
much they cost, you say '$75.' ...

If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames.
The lenses will be $50.'...

If his eyes still don't flutter, you add ...'Each.'

************************************

"Best Deal Yet"

No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday
Inn! With the average cost for a nursing home per day
reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get
old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at
the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount
and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves
$138.77 a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want,
or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room,
a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste
and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They
treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips
a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride cheap.

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and
eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at
the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps
building up. It takes months to get into decent nursing
homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And
you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move
from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a
mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything,
and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a
night security person and daily room service. The
maid checks to see if you are OK. If not, they will
call the undertaker or an ambulance.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip,
and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest
of your life. And no worries about visits from family.
They will always be glad to find you, and probably
check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids
can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when I reach the golden age, I'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all my email to: me@Holiday.Inn
Received on Tue Jan 20 06:12:54 2004